NO JACKET REQUIRED

This pretty much sums up this year.
There's more photos to come but some people are shite at sending them in. Eh? Tom and Ped?
To see the uncensored photo of Paul's cock go to Selim's FLICKR
Due to the amount of police harassment for nudity this may have been the last Millpocalypse where folk got scuddy. Those of you who were there will be able to say "I remember when Millpocalypse was full of naked dudes..."
There's a write up of this year at 46-18 and some bumf about Glasgow in general, go and have a look.

Catastrophe!

During this years' Millpocalypse the more sober of the attendees might remember the Freddy Merckx Hardman Trophy got broken. The news of this terrible occurrence was greeted by a global outpouring of grief.On the plus side it meant Lane didn't take the trophy to Oz which would have meant a long trip back to return it next year. The unwritten Millpocalypse rules state that each Champion must return the trophy in time for it to be awarded the next year, failure to do so will result in a crack squad of Westcoast Messenger drunkards being dispatched to give you a slapping and take it off you. Anyway it's time to re-group and re-build so a new trophy will have to be made by next year, one with less than 26 spaces for winners ( there's no way we can keep this up till we're in our fifties ) and one that isn't just a horse riding trophy with a bell bolted to it. If anyone has any ideas post them in the comments, the bell has to be incorporated but that's the only rule.
PREPARE FOR YOUR SUGGESTIONS TO BE IGNORED UNLESS YOU'RE OFFERING TO ACTUALLY MAKE THE THING.

Time to give a little love back.

Despite trying to keep our event underground we seem to be getting a bit of a name for ourselves. Although we welcome any publicity, if word gets around too much it'll ruin the guerilla nature of Millportpoloco. The reason it's been such a success is we don't attract the sort of people who are going to complain if the events start late ( or on a different day ) or if their tent gets a little singed in the crossfire. This year Millpocalypse Now was free entry for fuck sake, that's how much we do it for the kids. Actually now would be a good time to thank our sponsors House of Pistard and Bike Booty without whom there probably wouldn't have been any prizes this year.
Fortunately all the coverage we're getting is on sites that are underground themselves...the moment the mainstream catches on it's time to pack our shit up and move to a new island.
Anyway the point is, Thank You to all the sites below for mentioning us:
MOVING TARGET
CYCLETRACK
46-18
BIKEBUS
FYXOMATOSIS
SMEEAR
ALLEYCAT.HU
ALLEYCATRACING
THE SLOG

And thanks to everyone who came this year, tell your friends...but not too many of them.

The Millportpoloco organising(?) committee.


This image had to be photoshopped because like most successful creative partnerships they can't stand being in the same room as each other.

LANE DELL - MILLPOCALYPSE CHAMPION 2007

Another year another champion. This year Lane Dell from Melburn AUS joined Chris (DUB) and Brian (GLA) in the hallowed position of Millportpoloco Champion, he not only won the Time Trial ( which is what Millpocalypse is all about* ) but he also won the Urban Keirin. Undisputed is the word. He also put in the second fastest time round the island 29m 05s, just behind Brian's 2006 record of 28m 50s. A slightly controversial record considering it was done after a year of sobriety which is just not in keeping with the true spirit of Millportpoloco.






On the subject of controversy a brand new event was introduced this year: SKIDTLES. Basically you approach ten cans set up like skittles lock up your rear wheel at a line about 20ft away then skid into the skittles taking out as many as possible. Sounds a lot easier than it is especially when none of the competitors had ever tried it before. Movie won this with a slightly suspect technique: as you can see above he chose a full body slide which kind of defeats the 'bike handling skills' part of the contest. But we'll let him off as the total lack of concern for personal safety fully embodied the Millpocalypse ethos and anyone that knows Movie knows it's not from lack of skills. So in honour of this, his technique will be called a 'movie' from now on. Get practicing for next year when we will set the skittles on FIRE!

* it's actually about getting really drunk and not getting burnt or drowned.

PHOTIES!

It really does look like Selim was the only person to bother documenting Millpocalypse Now. His Flickr site is HERE and it's worth looking through his other sets cos there's lots of good photos of ME!
Cheers Selim. This year was nearly a case of "If a courier falls over in a forest and no one is around to hear it, did it really happen?"...or something like that.

UPDATE !

It would appear this year that once again everyone except Selim was too drunk to remember to take any photos so we may never know how the weekend got from this:

To this...

Via this:

If anyone does have any good pics send them, or a link to : westcoastmess@yahoo.co.uk

PHOTOS:NIKKI+XANDER

C.C.C.C.C ?

Millport to host the 12th BI-ANNUAL CELTIC CYCLE COURIER CHALLENGE CUP next year?
It's just a rumour at the moment, but why else would Paul be wearing the Tee shirt? Could courierings' best kept secret be jumping into the mainsteam?

NO NEW POSTS TIL SEPT.

I'm on holiday. Photos and info on this year will go up when i get back.
UP YOURS!

THE RESULTS

10.5 MILE TIME TRIAL ( Record 28.50 set in 2006 )

1 LANE ( MEL ) 29.05
2 TOM ( GLA ) 29.31
3 MIKE MAKATRON ( MEL ) 29.55
4= BRIAN ( GLA ) 30.24
4= CAMERON ( GLA ) 30.24
6 NIALL ( GLA ) 31.04
7 DEREK ( EDN ) 33.37
8 NIKKI ( LON ) F 33.51
9 ALI ( LON/GLA )F 34.29
10 LAURA ( GLA ) F 37.10
11 LINDSAY ( GLA )F 37.43
12 ROY ( GLA ) 37.49 PUNCTURE
13 PED ( GLA ) 39.55 TOWED MOVIE FOR A WHILE
14 MOVIE ( GLA/SYD ) 42.43 ON A 16" WHEEL BMX WITH NO BRAKES AND A SLOW PUNCTURE
15=COOKIE ( MNT ) 1:20.18
=CHUCK ( MNT ) 1:20.18
=RITA ( BUD ) F 1:20.18
=JEN ( GLA ) F 1:20.18
=ANDREAS ( COP/SYD ) 1:20.18
DFL JAMES TAIT ( GLA ) 2:19.05 A REMARKABLE ACHIEVEMENT CONSIDERING THE WEATHER

URBAN KEIRIN

BOYS
1 LANE ( MEL )
2 BRIAN S.A. ( SYD )
3 MAKA ( MEL )

GIRLS
1 JEN ( GLA )
2 NIKKI ( LON )
3 ALI ( LON/GLA )

SKID SKITTLES

1 MOVIE ( GLA/SYD ) 9
2=JAMES TAIT ( GLA ) 7
=ANDREAS ( COP/SYD )7

PIER JUMP

1 PAUL ( GLA ) JUST WAIT FOR THE PHOTOS

KARAOKE

1 TOM ( GLA ) VOICE OF AN ANGEL

TRACKSTAND DARTS

ABANDONED DUE TO EXCESSIVE DRUNKENESS

The Pre-event for Millpocalypse

Ross organised an impromptu Pre-Event during CMWCXV to help promote Millportpoloco 3.
Pikey from London won.

MILLPOCALYPSE THEN!

It's over, everybody survived, Niall didn't get hypothermia and everybody made it off the island on Sunday...sounds a bit tame by Millportpoloco standards, but we managed to have the Police called on us a grand total of 5 times making it the most illegal Millportpoloco yet. Fortunately there no arrests or tickets, not even for riding along a motorway, at night, with no lights, steaming drunk...but that's only because as they were writing out our tickets a murder in progress came over their radio and they had to boost ( lucky us, unlucky victim ).
This year we had couriers representing from Melburn, Sydney, Montreal, Copenhagen, Budapest, London and of course Glasgow ( Edinburgh what happened? you were missed ). We added new events including Skid Skittles, Pier jumping and KARAOKE! There was another good crash in Friday's Urban Keirin and despite a very wet Saturday everyone went home happy, in fact some people still haven't gone home because GLASGOW ROCKS!

Results will be posted tomorrow and photos will go up as soon as possible but I warn you, there's a lot of male nudity. All in all another successful year. Not bad for an event that was organised entirely on the train back from CMWC in Dublin.

Skatepark Photos

Has anyone got photos from the Friday nite skatepark session?
send them to westcoastmess@yahoo.co.uk

Registration

54below
1106 Argyle St
Glasgow, G3 8TD

Friday from 5pm. Brief break for Urban Keirin @ Park Circus then back to 54below till 3am.
Registration is free but you need to come to find out wtf is going on all weekend.
If you can't make it on Friday then meet @ Central Station at 9am Sat. morning.
If you can't make it there then meet on the pier at Millport at 12midday.
Time trial starts at 13:47 SHARP!

Dublin HO!

SOME NEWS

Millportpoloco news: This year will be FREE ENTRY and I think the prizes reflect that:

As everyone knows the real goal is to get to ring the bell on the Freddy Merckx Hardman trophy:

There is also a trophy for the Urban Keirin on Friday and don't forget the ONE POUND WHISKYS in the Tavern.

Right. The tandem is on the road and everyone is off to Dublin..see ya!
(If your coming the best thing to do is grab a Scotsman in Dublin and see if he can remember we're putting on this event.)

"THIS IS GLASGOW, WE'LL SET ABOUT YE"

As you'll all have heard Scotland is now on al-Qaeda's list, but don't let it bother you, cos we're not bothered. Here's what John Smeaton, one of the locals who took it upon himself to batter a suicide bomber, has to say about the threat:

WHAT THE FUCK HAS THIS GOT TO DO WITH BIKES!?

For those of you who thought they were getting a bit old to still be on the circuit.

HANDSOME BUT SCARY

These photos have been nicked from HERE. Looks like they're about a year old and judging from the clothes, taken in June or July. It's a testament to the guy's photography skills that he's managed to make everyone look so normal. Note Quimby keeping it real with the cast.







Not much Millporpoloco news at the moment, the event that organises itself seems to be doing the same again this year. On the tandem front some sort of boat anchor seems like the best way to stop people flying off the end of the pier.

GLASGOW'S FATTEST COURIER TOO TIGHT TO PAY FOR OWN PETROL

This has nothing to do with Millportpoloco but it's worth mentioning that Hutch from Alliance Bicycle Couriers has started up a new business to help pay for all of Sheona's perms. You can find out all about BIKE BUS here.
Come to think of it, can we hire you for the Millpocalypse weekend ?