ACCOMODATION

If you're coming this year and you haven't arranged for somewhere to stay then get in touch at:

westcoastmess@yahoo.co.uk

The format is:
Friday night in Glasgow, Saturday and Sunday night camping on Great Cumbrae, that's right TWO nights on the island. We've decided the stress of trying to get everyone off the island in time for the last ferry on Sunday night is too much hassle so it's two nights under canvas or possibly jail or hospital.
Bike Booty is no more so you'll need a floor to crash on in Glasgow so get in touch and we can allocate you a small area of alcohol soaked carpet.
We usually throw up a make-shift shelter on the Island but this is the West Coast of Scotland and things can get wet so bear that in mind when you're deciding whether or not to pack a tent. There is a reasonably priced Hotel and loads of B&B's in Millport which some people choose to stay in, if this is you're sort of thing then arrange it yourself. You can find info by clicking the Great Cumbrae link over there >.

More details to follow but if you're planning on coming you probably know what to expect.

ARCHIE'S GROBAGS - Onboard for 2008

Millportpoloco welcomes Archies' Grobags as an official sponsor of this years event. Archie's are U.K. made, quite technical bags ranging in size from handbag to bodybag and also some nice hip-pouches which are becoming a necessary item for the New Millennium Messenger who has to be equipped with a radio, xda, mobile phone, D-lock, satellite tracker, digital camera ( for their blog ) and of course pen and paper for when the system crashes.
For some good photos of their wares head over to GROBAGS MYSPACE .

TELEVISION THE DRUG OF THE NATION

Bits of Millportpolco 2006 were used in a report on Bike Messengers on the BBC last night.
Shit Sandwich.

2008 DATE SET

We're unleashing Millpocalypse 4 on the 1st August, the weekend after ECMC-EINDHOVEN.
If your going to Eindhoven then this is a post-event, if your not this is just an event.

NO DATE SORTED YET

Until we can finalise a date for this year here's some footage from last years Time Trial:



The picture's a bit hazy but I'm sure I spotted Safa Brian and Ped in there.

How are things in London Ryan? SMASHING!

The first company stupid enough to sponsor us has got itself involved in a little charity work. It MUST be some sort of tax dodge.
GODDAMN CANUCK BENEFIT

THINGS ARE GONNA CHANGE AROUND HERE

It's about time we cleaned up all the shite on this site.
We're soon going to change this page into purely an information site about Millpocalypse and things directly affecting it.
If you like reading a load of bollocks then head on over to House of Pistard they're banging on about Jessica Alba over there.
All the major Messenger events have set their dates for next year so we'll get our heads together and decide which one we'd most like to clash with, then we'll post dates so you can all book your days off.
We may have to limit numbers this year, but it's doubtful any of us will be organised enough to keep track of who's planning on coming.

HOUSE OF PISTARD IN "GETTING THEIR SHIT TOGETHER" SHOCK

One of our sponsors House of Pistard has finally got on the internet. No online shopping yet, but maybe that's too mainstream. Until then you'll just have to turn up to Courier events to get their stuff...or bombard them with emails. There may be a new WestCoast Messengers tee from them soon.
In more sponsorship news we've got a really,really good first prize for next year. So good we don't want to tell anyone in case we get people turning up just to win it and ruining our weekend. More details on this as soon as the company offering the prize has stopped arguing about what it's logo should be ( well what d'you expect from a company that wants to sponsor Millpocalypse? ).


Start praying for sun now.

FOR THOSE TO DRUNK TO REMEMBER

Tom's put some photos up on his Myspace, but for the non-geeks amongst you here's a few of the more in-focus ones:

A legend is born.

Maka's paint job has barely had time to dry but Bike Booty, Glasgow's courier owned shop has officially closed it's doors for good, due to other commitments and a 'dick' for a landlord.
So, like the crack den that was the TimbukII 'office' another venue passes into folklore. For years to come rookies will have to endure misty eyed tales told near closing time in whatever pub hasn't barred us and couriers will be judged by whether they can remember Bike Booty or not. Well, Winter is on it's way and the streets are cold and wet. GOD BLESS THE MONKEY.

photo: Spherical Roy

Happenings

I thought Couriers were all mental 'til I met some BMXers. Movies' band are playing, 'nuf said.

Halloween

What with it being Halloween next week you're probably all fretting about what costume to wear to the alleycat/party/other. At Westcoast Messengers HQ we feel you could do a lot worse than this:

Millpocalypse: offering you advice on all aspects of life, not just couriering.

YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING JOKING.

As I type this the Millpocalypse myspace is waiting with baited breath to be accepted to Donny's Fanpage!
I don't know, you think you know someone and then one day, browsing the internet you find out their name isn't really 'Olympic Track Star Donny Macleod'...
fuck me! Malky's got one too. And they've both got more friends than Millpocalypse.
Well done guys, see if you can put a backwards 'Come to Millpocalypse 4' chant somewhere on Paulo Nutini's next album.

Looks like James is the next Westcoast Messenger earmarked for stardom.

NO JACKET REQUIRED

This pretty much sums up this year.
There's more photos to come but some people are shite at sending them in. Eh? Tom and Ped?
To see the uncensored photo of Paul's cock go to Selim's FLICKR
Due to the amount of police harassment for nudity this may have been the last Millpocalypse where folk got scuddy. Those of you who were there will be able to say "I remember when Millpocalypse was full of naked dudes..."
There's a write up of this year at 46-18 and some bumf about Glasgow in general, go and have a look.

Catastrophe!

During this years' Millpocalypse the more sober of the attendees might remember the Freddy Merckx Hardman Trophy got broken. The news of this terrible occurrence was greeted by a global outpouring of grief.On the plus side it meant Lane didn't take the trophy to Oz which would have meant a long trip back to return it next year. The unwritten Millpocalypse rules state that each Champion must return the trophy in time for it to be awarded the next year, failure to do so will result in a crack squad of Westcoast Messenger drunkards being dispatched to give you a slapping and take it off you. Anyway it's time to re-group and re-build so a new trophy will have to be made by next year, one with less than 26 spaces for winners ( there's no way we can keep this up till we're in our fifties ) and one that isn't just a horse riding trophy with a bell bolted to it. If anyone has any ideas post them in the comments, the bell has to be incorporated but that's the only rule.
PREPARE FOR YOUR SUGGESTIONS TO BE IGNORED UNLESS YOU'RE OFFERING TO ACTUALLY MAKE THE THING.

Time to give a little love back.

Despite trying to keep our event underground we seem to be getting a bit of a name for ourselves. Although we welcome any publicity, if word gets around too much it'll ruin the guerilla nature of Millportpoloco. The reason it's been such a success is we don't attract the sort of people who are going to complain if the events start late ( or on a different day ) or if their tent gets a little singed in the crossfire. This year Millpocalypse Now was free entry for fuck sake, that's how much we do it for the kids. Actually now would be a good time to thank our sponsors House of Pistard and Bike Booty without whom there probably wouldn't have been any prizes this year.
Fortunately all the coverage we're getting is on sites that are underground themselves...the moment the mainstream catches on it's time to pack our shit up and move to a new island.
Anyway the point is, Thank You to all the sites below for mentioning us:
MOVING TARGET
CYCLETRACK
46-18
BIKEBUS
FYXOMATOSIS
SMEEAR
ALLEYCAT.HU
ALLEYCATRACING
THE SLOG

And thanks to everyone who came this year, tell your friends...but not too many of them.

The Millportpoloco organising(?) committee.


This image had to be photoshopped because like most successful creative partnerships they can't stand being in the same room as each other.

LANE DELL - MILLPOCALYPSE CHAMPION 2007

Another year another champion. This year Lane Dell from Melburn AUS joined Chris (DUB) and Brian (GLA) in the hallowed position of Millportpoloco Champion, he not only won the Time Trial ( which is what Millpocalypse is all about* ) but he also won the Urban Keirin. Undisputed is the word. He also put in the second fastest time round the island 29m 05s, just behind Brian's 2006 record of 28m 50s. A slightly controversial record considering it was done after a year of sobriety which is just not in keeping with the true spirit of Millportpoloco.






On the subject of controversy a brand new event was introduced this year: SKIDTLES. Basically you approach ten cans set up like skittles lock up your rear wheel at a line about 20ft away then skid into the skittles taking out as many as possible. Sounds a lot easier than it is especially when none of the competitors had ever tried it before. Movie won this with a slightly suspect technique: as you can see above he chose a full body slide which kind of defeats the 'bike handling skills' part of the contest. But we'll let him off as the total lack of concern for personal safety fully embodied the Millpocalypse ethos and anyone that knows Movie knows it's not from lack of skills. So in honour of this, his technique will be called a 'movie' from now on. Get practicing for next year when we will set the skittles on FIRE!

* it's actually about getting really drunk and not getting burnt or drowned.

PHOTIES!

It really does look like Selim was the only person to bother documenting Millpocalypse Now. His Flickr site is HERE and it's worth looking through his other sets cos there's lots of good photos of ME!
Cheers Selim. This year was nearly a case of "If a courier falls over in a forest and no one is around to hear it, did it really happen?"...or something like that.